Way too many times, I’ve heard this statement, “Love is a verb not a noun.” from people who are in the business of telling people what is right or what is wrong, and it so happens that when you’re in the business of right and wrong, black or white, you fail to see the many shades of grey in between. Too many times, people have equated love to the things you do for the people whom you claim to love (Just so we’re clear, I mean romantic relationships here.) You hear things along the line, “What have you added to my life?” or “What sort of boyfriend/girlfriend are you? Can’t you see what other people are doing for those they claim to love?”
If I were too take a random survey of what people wanted in their relationship, I’m pretty certain that they would list things they would like their partner to be and do for them but definitely not what they’d do for that partner. Is that how it’s really meant to be?
So, I have Questions. Do you have some answers for me?
Are relationships and marriages breaking down so easily these days because we do not understand love? Is love really only just a verb and never a noun?
Have we reduced the meaning of love to the simplest form possible to fit our agenda?
What is love? How do you love another person properly?
When you hammer into people’s psyche over and over again that a romantic relationship is about what the other person does or give, aren’t you creating a situation where individuals go into relationships wanting to take, take and take the more? Aren’t you creating a situation where some people are often comparing their relationship with other people?
Shouldn’t love be unconditional affection between two persons? Shouldn’t love help? Shouldn’t love uplift? Shouldn’t love care even when you don’t really like them in the moment? Why have we reduced love to the most inconsequential things?
I’m not saying that these things are not important. I’m wondering if we have placed too much emphasis on what the other person can give and not really about the love. Can you call love that only wants to take love?
Is love really just Verb?
Oyekunle ‘Fikayo Oyediran.